Three diseases that will ruin your life - part three

 I remember when they started building a housing development of new uber-expensive homes right next to our little church building. Many of these “mansions” had more square footage than our little wood-sided facility with the gravel parking lot.

As the homes were constructed and families began to move into them, I listened to some people’s reactions which were sometimes humorous and other times annoying.

“Those people live in those big fine homes, but I am certain they are not happy with all that money.”

“I’ll bet that family is in debt up to their eyeballs.”

“They think they’re so much better than the rest of us.”

“If there is somebody who desperately needs a church, it’s those folks. But they don’t think they need God.”

“Why would you waste so much money?”

I confess that I probably made some of those statements. It was easy to judge people you didn’t know without them knowing about it.

Every day we make dozens of necessary judgments about various conditions and people who cross our path. Unfortunately, when judging people, we sometimes cross the line from essential discernment and into the realm of ugly thoughts and hurtful words. This unsavory practice can quickly become a bad habit that is hard to break.

An interesting fact about this exercise is that unbridled judgment talks more about us than the ones we are berating. Earl Nightingale explained it like this.

“When you judge others, you do not define them; you define yourself.” Earl Nightingale

In Jesus’ humorous but pointed manner, the Teacher told listeners to stop trying to pick the specks out of others’ eyes while harboring a log in our own. It is hard to spot a bit of dust if you are looking through clouded lenses. He continued to explain that the measure you use to judge people will be used on you, and if you judge harshly, expect the same in return.

Why is this social malady so easy to catch?

·      We are all different, and different is often perceived as lacking.

Do you realize there is only one way to properly mop a floor – my way. There is also only one proper way to brush your teeth and squeeze a tube of toothpaste, fold towels, cook bacon, eat corn-on-the-cob, drive a car, write a proposal, raise a child, and many other tasks too numerous to mention. (However, if you want to know how to do just about anything right, email your request, and I’ll gladly oblige ). What a boring world it would be if everyone were alike! Different is beautiful. Embrace and enjoy distinctiveness.

·      Judging is easier than getting to know someone.

I’ve known people, especially leaders, who rubbed me the wrong way from a distance. I considered them arrogant and prideful until I actually spent time with them and got to know them. Then it dawned on me I had mistaken self-confidence for pride and good looks for being snobbish. You know the proverb; “Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.” Every person has a story and does not act from a vacuum; our stories make us unique and loveable.

·      Judging masks our feelings of inferiority.

“I may never be as tall as you, but I can do my best to cut you down to size.” A critical spirit is often rooted in what we see in the mirror that we do not like. “I don’t like how he’s wearing his hair; it looks goofy. What I am really saying is that I wish I had hair!” There will always be more talent, beauty, intelligence, money, status, etcetera than you possess. Get over it. 

·      Judging often lacks knowledge and truth.

“Why should I be bothered with the truth? I know what is happening here, and I don’t like it.” I’ve been in discussions with people who are critical of Christianity and the Bible; three minutes into the conversation, I realize that they have not read the Bible, know very little about it, and have no intention of learning it. If we are going to make severe judgments about someone, it behooves us to learn as much as possible about the person and the situation.

·      Judging can mean we lack self-control. My mother used to tell me, “Don, if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.” We do not need to say everything we think.

There is also one person we often judge too harshly – ourselves. We are far from perfect creatures, which means we take many stupid, hurtful, mindless, selfish actions. We can expect far more from ourselves than others, and when we don’t measure up, we resort to self-flagellation. Doing penance somehow soothes our conscience because we are convinced that we must pay for our mistakes.  

Two of God’s significant characteristics are mercy and grace. Mercy means that though we make many mistakes, the Judge does not give us what we deserve. Grace means that our Father not only treats us mercifully, but He also then goes the second mile and gives us gifts we do not deserve. Not a bad deal. Let us do no less for ourselves and others.

Three Diseases That Will Ruin Your Life

Unrestrained Anger

Withheld Forgiveness

Unbridled Judgement

Give adequate treatment to those disorders, and you will find yourself on the way to emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health.

Live Inspired!

Don Mark