The Best Present You Can Give Is Free
What if you could give your loved ones, friends, work associates, and just about everyone a gift that would change their lives, and it was free? How would you feel about a present like that? You are thinking, Yeah, right, Hamilton, when donkeys fly. There is no such thing. Well, I beg to differ.
Did your husband or wife ever send you to the store to pick up some items for dinner, and you returned to a frowning person who had just unloaded your haul to find that you had missed two items? Your excuses started flowing like an open faucet. Your mate realized you had mentally checked out when you were given the grocery list before leaving. You didn’t want to go to the store anyway.
Have you ever been watching TV to hear your “proper” name being called by one of your children? I was watching a football game on Thanksgiving when I heard a chorus of adults and children loudly saying, “Mr. Hamilton. Dad. Father.” When I came to my senses and looked across the family room into the kitchen, I saw two adults and two children singing those words. It was the only way they could bring me back to the real world so they could ask a cooking question. I had mentally checked out.
Have you ever chatted with someone when you could tell by the look in their eyes that they were off in another land and not listening to a word you said?
Do you ever find yourself having so many things on your mind or being so focused on a task that you overlook someone trying to communicate with you?
I once read a true story about a manager who was called into his boss’s office for a chat. Through the windows in his office, he had witnessed what had become a far too common phenomenon on the part of the manager.
To get to his office, the manager had to pass several employees working at their desks. As he made his way to his workspace, his reports often wanted to ask a quick question or two, but he was too busy to stop and listen. The leader hurried past each desk. He had mountains of work to do—reports, spreadsheets, projections, etc. He had deadlines to meet.
Sitting across the desk from his boss, the supervisor explained what he often witnessed through his office windows. He asked why the young leader seemed to bypass his employees when they obviously wanted to talk with him.
The manager defensively replied, “I have so much to do; I don’t have time to chat. I have to get to my job.” His boss leaned over the table, looked directly into his eyes, and quietly but forcefully said, “They are your job.”
Embedded within the hustle and bustle of life is a magnet that constantly pulls us to overlook what is most important: people. Daily distractions can rob us of opportunities to communicate genuinely with those around us. In short, we are no longer present, and presence is everything.
of the best gifts you can give anyone is being present in mind, heart, soul, and spirit. When we are attentive to people, we are saying, “I value you. You are important to me. Your opinions matter to me. You are worth my time.”
My 2024 gift-giving suggestion is simple and cheap: Be present, show up in people’s lives, and be attentive. You can do that—anyone can—but how? Here are some suggestions.
· Take time, make time, slow down your busy self. People are your job. When you are too busy for your mate, children, and friends, you are too busy. If you do not have time to interact, ask permission to return to the conversation. Ask when and where you can meet, and then be there. Most people are gracious enough to adjust their time to suit yours – as long as you do not take advantage of the grace.
· Make eye contact. Eye concentration requires discipline, which helps eliminate distractedness.
· Don’t be thinking about what you are going to say next. If you are thinking about your reply, two things are happening. 1. You are not fully listening. 2. You are making decisions before you have all the information.
· Lean into your conversation. This means using your body language to show you are listening and caring. Have you ever been in a conversation, and the other person starts walking in another direction? It’s annoying! Their body language silently says, “You don’t matter enough to stay engaged.”
· Use “the three little words” generously. “They never grow old; they always stay new, those three little words: Please and Thank you.
· Show up! You can’t be present if you are not there. Showing up means more than just being in the same room.
I try to remember this prayer daily: “Lord, today, please take me to someone I need, and Jesus, please take me to someone who needs me. Help me recognize those people, be present with them, and respond appropriately.”
There you have it. I have provided you with a cheap, easy gift you can give everyone at Christmas, and the good news is that it keeps on giving all year long.
You are welcome.
Live Inspired!
Don Mark
Also, this is a quick reminder that if you have read my book, Lead Like a Bodyguard, and liked it, please write a review on Amazon or Barnes & Noble. I would really appreciate your effort. I am pleased to report that the book has been on Amazon’s bestseller list numerous times in one of my categories. Woot! Woot! Thank you!
