so long Barry, we will meet again.
Herb, Gail & Barry
Tears streamed down my cheeks and soaked my cozy flannel pillow. It was around 1:00 am this morning when a not-so-pleasant dream awakened me. As I lay in the darkness contemplating how my mind ponders such deranged thoughts when my conscious brain is not in charge, I decided to check my phone. I rarely look at my phone in the middle of the night. Viewing the bright screen’s scrolling notifications is a formula for impeding the return to slumber. I immediately noticed a name pop-up on my text stream, and I instantly knew why.
The third person of the Three Amigos had passed late the night before. Glenda had graciously informed me that her husband, Barry, quietly slipped the bonds of mortality and, as he explained, traveled home. He was prepared.
I clutched the pillow next to me where my beloved rested beside me for thirty-eight years, and, for a short while, I wailed. Death, from this side of the veil, is so permanent. From our perspective, when it claims its next victim, they are no more. The Apostle Paul reminded us that mortality is our final enemy, and it will hold sway until the Lord returns. There is a myriad of ways each of us must confront our nemesis, but in the end, he always prevails.
Chemotherapy was an all-day event every two weeks. During monotonous hours of poison infusions, some patients form a fellowship of commonality. They are all fighting the dark enemy.
A wonderful man named Herb was across the hall. Several of my daughters and Gail’s sisters laughed and made the most of a crummy situation in our cubical. Herb’s wife, a unique and funny lady, came across the hall to introduce herself. She exclaimed through laughter that she could not help but eavesdrop on our conversations. At some point, she realized that she was friends with several people from our church and had heard them talk about their pastor. She had even heard about Gail’s travails and subsequently prayed for her. Later that day, Gail visited Herb, and they immediately formed a bond. Herb rose from his bed and embraced my wife, shedding many tears. Gail would become an inspiration for this dying man.
Herb didn’t know a stranger, and he had a great sense of humor. He always wore a Hawaiian shirt to chemo treatments and visited many fellow strugglers each session. He especially visited “newbies.” After a few long days in the infusion center, it becomes apparent when someone joins the ranks of the infused for the first time. There is a distinct facial expression and look of distress and fear in their eyes. Herb homed in on these distressed individuals and reported to Gail. He wanted Gail to visit the initiate, quell their fears, and provide inspiration through her Spirit-filled, beautiful smile. She gladly obliged.
Though I do not remember the details, at some point, not too long after Gail’s battle began, we met Barry and Glenda. Barry too had the same dreadful disease. Like the others, he was a bit afraid. And, like the others, he was trying to process his mortality. Glenda was the perfect partner in what would become a nearly three-year journey. Barry was a smiling, positive-thinking follower of Jesus. He served in his church, loved cool cars and his grandkids. He immediately warmed towards Gail. Like Herb, they became comrades in an excruciating battle. Like people who go to war, these three formed a deep bond, one that only terminal cancer patients can fully understand.
Thus formed, The Three Amigos.
Over the months, they would share the intricacies and conundrums of pancreatic cancer treatment. It’s like playing with a loaded gun that can and will go off at some moment. Gail and I immensely enjoyed the company of these two couples. One night, we met around a fire, broke bread together, and laughed until our sides hurt. We shared my favorite food at Pizza Grill on several occasions. We prayed for one another without ceasing.
Herb was the first to go, then Gail, and now Barry. Three years, three delightful souls passing the way of all flesh, leaving in their wake a trail of joy and sorrow that will never be erased.
It is difficult for me to write presently. Tears cloud my vision. With His most grace-filled intentions, God allows our lives to be enriched by many souls, sometimes in the most unlikely and unwelcome manner. In the Western World, we do our best to avoid all pain. We seek to stave off death by seeking immortality through merely perishable things. The Grim-Reaper always wins.
But does he really? I am considering the Apostle’s concluding words.
54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
55 “Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
(1Corinthians 15:54-57)
n Paul’s scheme of things, tears give way to hope, appreciation, and confidence.
Barry, you were a fine man of faith and integrity, as were your comrades. So long for now. We will meet again. It was an honor to have known you this side of heaven.
Live Inspired!
Don Mark
