Gift Giving conundrum

 So, what are you getting everyone on your list this Christmas?  I was once amused to hear someone explain that their mother always gave strange gifts each Christmas. What’s the most unusual gift you have ever received? I once received a two-foot-tall Christmas tree that was not really a tree. It was a timeline of the life of Jesus right up to the ascension.  The timeline was designed like a road that went round and round the conical-shaped ceramic figure.  As it ascended, scenes of the life of Christ were depicted with figurines. It was a little over the top for my taste, but I appreciated the thought.

It is challenging to find just the right gift for some folks, isn’t it? I’m like Lucy of the Peanuts fame. Cold hard cash will do if you cannot think of anything else. A few years ago, one of my daughters implemented a fantastic Christmas present tool – a spreadsheet with links directly to the desired gifts. When a gift is purchased, it is checked off the list.  This innovative approach cut my shopping time in half and assures me that I will buy something they want. Because of online shopping, I have a close relationship with several Amazon, UPS, FedEx, and USPS carriers. I love pulling into my driveway, noticing the boxes sitting at my door. Feels like Christmas all year long. My family’s approach takes much of the guesswork out of Christmas gift-giving.

I think there might be several reasons why some folks are more complicated than others when receiving gifts.

Some people seem to have everything, but of course, that is an exaggeration. We are really saying that this person doesn’t express a desire for many new things.  However, sometimes this person has become so select in their desires that they cannot appreciate a gift they did not choose for themselves.  I’m sometimes like that.  I told someone recently; all the presents I want are too expensive for you to buy me. I used to irritate the socks off my wife because I frequently purchased my desired gift myself right before Christmas. I really cannot truthfully state that I “need” anything for Christmas. I already have many times over what I need. Like most Americans, my wish list falls into the “want” category. I may not need much, but I want a lot. That can be a dangerous inclination. Contentment is a potent tool for true happiness and peace. The Apostle Paul exclaimed that he was pleased because he learned to be content in any and every circumstance. That’s awesome!  I’m still a work in progress.

Sometimes the shoe is on the other foot. The giver has waited until the very last minute to buy gifts. I have known several people, usually, men, who do their shopping on Christmas Eve.  Somehow, among the hundreds of millions of gift-givers in the world who seem to find time to purchase gifts, this person’s schedule and life is so filled with critical tasks that they could not have possibly worked in one more duty – buying gifts for loved ones. 

One of my favorite gifts in early life was an American Flyer train set. You could put a few drops of oil in the smokestack, and it would puff white smoke as it circled the track. However, it took two tries for dad to get me a train set that worked. It was Christmas Eve, the time when the Hamilton’s opened their gifts. I tore into the presents labeled “Donnie” like a starving creature at a buffet until there it was, the Mecca of Christmas fulfillment, a train set.  Life was good, and so was Santa. Everything else now paled, and I immediately started assembling this magical wonder. I finished building the track and set the realistic cars onto the course. A transformer was attached with a small clip under the track. The power center was about the size of a small gift box, and it was heavy for a kid of my size. It made me feel that I was in control of something powerful. On top, a bright red dial resembled an old-fashioned timer dial.

I plugged it in and sat for a moment, trying to absorb the miracle before my eyes. Then I slowly turned the power controller. Wait for it, wait for it . . .  Nothing! No sound, no movement, no smoke, nothing! I pleaded with dad to stop whatever he was doing and fix it. He graciously sat on the floor and began his work. In my eyes, my father could repair anything. He had designed giant glass-forming machines that created the Corning Ware in my mother’s cupboards. Indeed, fixing a kid’s train was nothing for him.  He meticulously examined and jimmied each part until the devastating news crashed down on my Christmas dream. The train simply did not work. Tears started flowing like water out of a firehose. I would spend Christmas trainless. Utter tragedy.

But wait, my hero was not about to let me suffer this injustice. The ole man quickly packed up the train, and we mounted the Chrysler Imperial and headed to – Hooks Pharmacy. What?  Dad, did you really purchase the most important of all gifts at the drug store?  It was not until I was an adult until I realized dad must have waited until the last minute to shop for Donnie’s dream. The “regular” stores were closed, and the local drug store saved his butt. It was the only place still opened. We ran inside like a fireman at the scene of a conflagration. Dad immediately approached the checkout counter and explained our emergency. The checkout person smiled as he peered down at the distraught little blonde boy and said, “Sure, Mr. Hamilton, we have another set.”  At that moment, I came to believe there truly is a God who loves me.

But how about our first gift giver, the one who doesn’t seem to be able to connect a loved one with an appropriate gift. Sometimes we can be self-absorbed enough to miss the needs and desires of others, even those close to us. Been there, done that.  I remember buying my wife an electric drill for her birthday once.  She appropriately chided me about it for years. Yes, I was buying her something I wanted.  Honestly, it ended up being a not so funny joke. Sometimes we are so self-centered that we cannot immerse ourselves in someone else enough to know what they would want or even need, for that matter.  We give them what we think they should have or want. It requires genuine relational effort to figure out suitable gifts for one another.  We’ve not asked, or, more likely; we’ve not listened. Appropriate gifts meet the needs and desires of the recipient.

God is exceptionally proficient at gifting. The Creator loved humanity so much that He placed His desires aside, gave up the wealth of heaven, and became human. This is the historical rationale for celebrating the holiday. The Almighty had observed mortals closely for several millennia and comprehended our deepest desires entwined with our desperate needs. Amidst taking care of the entire universe, including humankind, He somehow worked it into His schedule to plan every detail of His gift quest for untold chiliads.  He so identified with his recipients that He gave the perfect gift.  The present matched their deepest needs and greatest longings. 

The realization that so many people down through the ages have accepted His gift and enjoyed it to the fullest must be gratifying. So many humans understand how appropriate and enjoyable the Child lying in a feeding trough, born of a virgin woman, can be. They follow His continued story culminating in an untimely death leading to a glorious resurrection and ascension to return to His rightful position. A gift must be accepted and enjoyed for the gifting circle to be complete. It can be difficult to give or receive the blessings of Christmas aright without first receiving God’s perfect gift and acknowledging with a grateful heart.

I am not declaring this opinion from a judgmental or arrogant spirit. I realize that millions of people joyfully give and receive gifts at Christmas who are not believers in the original gift. It is gratifying to observe their willingness to enjoy a Christian blessing upon the earth. But, given its implications upon a weary world, the Baby Jesus, Savior, is worth considering. As the overused proclamation goes, “Jesus is the reason for the season.” So, if you cannot accept the historicity and reality of the scene in Bethlehem, that’s okay. God does not force anyone to receive His gifts. But if you still enjoy the holiday, thank you. In some manner, you accept the Creator’s presence and the Christian faith’s gift to the world. Enjoy!

I was lucky. My mom was also a good gift giver.  Years ago, I was a young preacher who wore ties to work each Sunday.  Many folks consider neckties a less than desirable gift. But I love good ties.  A beautiful, fine tie is the signature of a classy suit or outfit.  But at that time, I couldn’t afford fine ties. So, each Christmas, mom earnestly shopped for just the right expensive, fine silk tie.  I still have those ties even though mom has been gone for a long while.  Thanks, mom.

And, as for dad and the train, thank you as well. Last-minute or not, you made a little boy’s Christmas joyful and memorable. You, too, were an attentive giver.

I received many gifts from my parents. But the most outstanding and lasting of them all was the nobility of passing along your faith in Jesus to your son. I am eternally grateful. Like so many matters, the Baby who grew to manhood and started a movement believed that one receives a more meaningful blessing from gift-giving than receiving. I agree. My parents must be eternally gratified that they bestowed the gift of faith on their children. Thank you, Ralph and Genell.

I hope you find just the right gifts for those you love.

Merry Christmas!

Live Inspired!

Don Mark