Examination - The Cure For The Common Life
Do you love going to the dentist for examinations? Do you get excited about taking tests? Do you thrive when working on your budget? (I know some of you indeed love budgeting, but for the rest of us, it’s like hitting your finger with a hammer).
It is the middle of March and I have already visited the dentist and oral surgeon five times. Yuk! Unfortunately, after a painful Christmas and New Year celebration, I went to my dentist, who concluded that I had a cracked tooth – well, I had a cracked tooth. Three more visits to the dentist and then twice to the oral surgeon, who finally removed the tooth this week. He grafted bone and started the process, resulting in an implant later this year. However, I’ll take dental visits anytime over the pain of a cracked tooth. I’m glad I went through the hassle of a dental exam.
Examination can be stressful, and we already have plenty of that, so why cause more? It is common for a patient visiting their doctor for an examination to get elevated blood pressure because they are stressed out. However, avoiding a yearly check-up could cost you your life in the long run. So, go to the doc, for Pete’s sake!
Examining and evaluating your life regularly keeps you moving forward. Without a good look in the mirror, we often float around like a piece of dead wood in the ocean. And too often, we find ourselves floating in the wrong direction.
One of the objectives of Jesus’ teaching was to get people to assess themselves and evaluate their lives against a Godly yardstick. He said things like, what does it matter if you gain the whole world but forfeit your soul, and a wise person builds their life on a rock rather than the sand. How are you constructing your life?
A wealthy young man once approached the Teacher and asked how he might obtain eternal life. Jesus told him to keep the commands, to which the confident person replied that he had indeed accomplished that feat. He probably felt pretty good about himself until Jesus added one more observation. He convinced the man to look further into his life and observe that he was in love with money and his greed was eroding his soul. Jesus recommended the wealthy fellow get rid of his wealth by giving it to the poor and then casting his lot with the Son of Man. The poor fellow couldn’t bring himself to do it. I’ve always wondered if that young man ever got a handle on his most damaging problem. I guess we will find out in heaven.
If you want to move forward in life, take a good look at yourself to see clearly what areas need more attention. But self-examination can be scary. Why?
We fear exposing issues will result in a pass/fail conclusion, and no one wants to feel like a failure.
But quality examination is not pass/fail. It is about solving problems and preparing for opportunities. I often put off reviewing my budget regularly because I fully expect that I have spent too much money in one area or another, so I feel like a failure. However, when I force myself to set budget categories and track my spending, I learn where I most like to spend my money. How we spend our money usually reflects our values. We spend on things we want to own, experience, or accomplish. A budget should reflect first necessities, but equally important; it should be a reasonable assessment of where and how much you spend on things you enjoy, which is okay.
Another prominent example for me is my lifelong struggle with being overweight. The battle is real, and it sucks. However, over the past three years, I’ve lost fifty pounds and discovered I must perform two major tasks to shed pounds. First, I must do some kind of workout regularly. Many days, I hate to exercise. I was built for comfort, and pumping iron is not my idea of comfort. Secondly, and even more importantly, I must record what I eat daily. When I performed this daily examination, the process quickly revealed that I should have stopped at two slices of pizza. Curses foiled again!
However, budgeting and achieving healthy eating habits are not pass/fail. There is always tomorrow and new opportunities. Also, even if you pigged out three days this week, but last week you did it four days, you are further down the pike than when you started. That is called progress. But if you don’t do the examination process, you never know how you are doing.
As a pastor, I counseled countless couples who were experiencing marital difficulties. It didn’t take long to learn that by the time both parties agreed to try outside help, they were in too deep, and chances of success were slim. They had been examining and evaluating their spouse's “bad behavior” for so long that their opinions about their mate were deeply entrenched. Emotions had taken over, and logic went out the window.
This meant the first two or three sessions were spent listening to each partner emote, which usually consisted of exaggerated opinions and anger. Terms like “She always does this!” “He never treats me with respect.” I often felt like the referee of a high-stakes basketball game. If I didn’t handle the situation well, I might end up in a full-on fight where someone was getting hurt, which might be me!
Once the couple’s anger subsided, I could help them accurately examine their problems and get them all laid out on the table. This allowed us to analyze how and why they got where they are. Afterward, we could determine a hierarchy of importance for each issue and prioritize the work we would begin to repair their broken relationship.
Years ago, I became certified in the use of Natural Church Development. NCD is an assessment and planning tool that helps a congregation identify its strengths and weaknesses and then set goals to improve areas of congregational life that are lacking while also refining what they are proficient at doing. Depending on the size of the church, I would have church leaders recruit twelve to twenty individuals of various ages, lengths of membership, and depth of involvement. At the same time, I would gather the leaders and key players to perform the same assessment. Invariably, those guiding the congregation viewed the church more positively than the rank and file. It was easier to receive an accurate assessment of their strengths and weaknesses from this group than from the leadership team. Church leaders do not like to believe their congregation has problems because it might place them in an unfavorable light.
When both groups completed the assessment, I gathered both teams and took them through the results. We discussed each area that had been examined, and then I facilitated a conversation on how they could address those issues and form measurable goals to work on for the next six months.
Leaders were often surprised at the differences between how they viewed the church versus how regular members looked at it. Leaders saw things through rose-colored glasses. Churches are notorious for overlooking or ignoring their foibles because they think community weaknesses mean they are not committed enough.
Generally speaking, viewing the world through rose-colored glasses is a good outlook. Studies show that people who see life through a positive lens are happier and more content.
However, on the other side of the coin, it may be challenging to assess a problem or opportunity accurately if one is overly optimistic. There is a time for realism. It took a workable tool and outside assistance to understand clearly where they stood. However, they would never have worked on their problems without a realistic picture.
People are like churches. We tend to see ourselves in a more favorable light than is warranted. Self-awareness is beneficial, but we get there with the help of friends and those who are a little further down the trail than we are. We need people around us who will tell it like it is so we can improve ourselves. Jesus is a tell-it-like-it-is kind of guy, and it is good to let Him set the pace. We can do this by studying His life and teachings regularly, placing ourselves against those standards, and letting trusted friends and family speak into our lives.
Well, I enjoyed my six-month doctor check-up last week. Yep, I actually enjoyed seeing the guy I’ve doctored with for longer than either of us would like to admit. As usual, we spent five minutes examining me, and since I am the picture of health and well-being, we then chatted about stuff that ticks us off about the medical system. It was quite enlightening. He says I’m doing great, and the plethora of meds I take are working like a charm. My blood work was A-Okay. I should be on the cover of an AARP magazine! Yep, that medical visit reminds me that examinations are a good thing.
Live Inspired!
Don Mark
