Burn Your Goals???

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Burn Your Goals???

For most of my life, I have been goal-oriented. I read books about goal-setting, followed goal-setting strategic plans, made BHAG goals (Big, Hairy, Audacious, Goals), set up systems to monitor goal progress, and celebrated when I crossed a finish line. Though I accomplished numerous goals, I also left behind a graveyard of buried good intentions. Living by goals has been ingrained in my psyche, but not so much now.

 Like best-selling author Joshua Medcalf, I’ve decided to “burn my goals.

These days, I use a different approach to forward movement.

A couple of months ago, I completed two months of physical therapy to improve movement and strength in my core. I was struggling with hamstrings torn a little from my hips. Sitting in a car or on a stool for a while caused a lot of pain. But, after some training and persistence, my situation improved, and I was about to graduate to self-care when the “head” therapist had a little sit-down meeting with me.

Lauren evaluated my progress and developed a self-care program for me to follow at home. But before she set up a training regimen, she looked me squarely in the eyes and said, “Don, what are you willing to do?” Both she and the other attending therapist looked at me with serious expressions. I felt like a little kid who had been sent to the principal’s office. “What are you willing to do each week, each day?”

I had been attending therapy sessions for one hour twice a week for two months. I worked out at home for another day or two and made good progress. But now I was going to be on my own.

In my mind, the real question was, “Don, how badly do you want to be able to drive to Baltimore or Philly frequently to see your children without it being literally a pain in the butt?” Painless driving was the goal.

But my therapist was wise enough to know that the real question was, “What are you willing to do today, every day?” If I were willing to follow the plan, the goal would take care of itself. Don’t worry about the goal; execute the plan.

Traditional goal-setting means examining and evaluating one’s present situation in light of improvement. We set goals because we are not satisfied with our present status. We think things like, “I’m overweight,” “I’m out of shape,” “I drink too much,” I’m stuck in a rut,” “I’m not a very good spouse,” “I want to get better at  . . .” Once we’ve determined the problem, we evaluate our level of discomfort and plan accordingly. We usually do not make significant life changes until we are thoroughly disgusted with our present status.

I remember counseling numerous people who asked me for help making life changes. However, within a few minutes, I sensed that they were either being chided by someone to seek my help or experiencing a wave of guilt that would pass as soon as they walked out the door. This person was not tired enough of their destructive behavior to change it. Until you are sick and tired enough of being sick and tired, you will not change. At this stage of mental positioning, goals are useless.

In 2025, many of us have examined, evaluated, and determined a picture of a preferred future for our lives. We have a goal. That is a good thing.

Now, conduct a little planning session to determine what daily thoughts and actions will get you there. Once you have those plans firmly in mind, forget about the goal—yes, I said forget about the goal.

i.e., If I do core exercises three/four times a week, my butt will take care of itself. That means I must return to Lauren’s question every day. “Don, what are you willing to do today?”  If I want to maintain a painless ride to Maryland, my concentration must be on today – not some future three months down the road.

Humans can improve at anything, overcome obstacles, and make quality life changes one day at a time. There is no other formula, magic pill, miracle machine, or shortcut.

The Bible says, “Today is the day of your salvation.” Concentrate on today; one day, you’ll wake up having crossed a finish line.

To accomplish big goals, determine what you need to do today and give your energy to that endeavor. Then, do that tomorrow, the next day, and the next day. Stop thinking about how you will look in that new dress six months from now, and concentrate on how you will feel after a good half-hour workout this morning.

This is called bottom-up thinking, and it works because goals are realized from the bottom up, not the top down. 

One more piece of advice I learned from Arnold Schwarzenegger. A few years ago, the Terminator had multiple surgeries to repair deadly congenital heart issues. Arnold explains that after surgery, he started feeling sorry for himself, but then something changed. The “Govenator” determined he would recover. He purchased a wall calendar, followed instructions from his medical staff, and began the slow recovery process.

Arnold placed the calendar on the wall at the end of his bed. After each successful exercise session, he marked the date with an “X.” Before long, the progress reporter showed “Xs” every day for a week, then a month, and so forth. Arnold’s recovery could only happen one day at a time, and his calendar was a constant reminder to worry about one thing—today.

Set a long-term goal, determine the most minor steps toward success, start taking those steps daily, one at a time, and forget about the goal. It will take care of itself.

Live Inspired!

Don Mark