Ah, look at all the lonely people day one of two

Do you remember the famous movie, “Castaway,” starring Tom Hanks?  In the film, Tom is lost on a deserted island. The story chronicles his survival. Tom’s most formidable enemy was not weather, or food, or water. It was loneliness.  It was out of his loneliness that Tom created the famous silent character, “Wilson.”  Wilson was a volleyball upon which Hanks made a smiling face with his own blood. Wilson became his close friend and confidant throughout much of the movie.  Loneliness will cause us to do strange things to survive.

 All of us will experience the empty room, nights alone in bed, the silent home, a car going nowhere, and emptiness amidst the crowd.  This is loneliness, and no one gets through life without it. Mother Teresa once said, “The biggest disease today is not leprosy or cancer. It’s the feeling of being uncared for, unwanted—of being deserted and alone.”

 The Beatles expressed loneliness in a song they wrote years ago. Here are some lines from Eleanor Rigby.

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people (Ah, look at all the lonely people)
Where do they all come from?

 According to numerous studies, the pandemic is not only about the Coronavirus; it has become a plague of human loneliness. Forced isolation has cornered many into a place of seclusion. The results are not encouraging. According to the Health Resources & Services Administration, “Loneliness and social isolation can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.”

Are you lonely? Do you know someone lonely? Most of us are experiencing some sadness because we cannot enjoy our usual level of social interaction.  Add to the results of COVID the holiday season, and the product is a recipe for quiet suffering.

Is there any blessing in loneliness?  The answer is yes.  Loneliness is not usually something that you can simply make go away. Most often, it is thrust upon us by circumstances beyond our control.  But it is not without reward.

 I live alone after a marriage of thirty-eight years. Though Gail went to be with the Lord two years ago, I still awaken in the night sometimes. The house is dark and silent. There is no one beside me. I cannot sense the breath and warmth of my mate. Despondency begins to creep over my soul. But I’ve learned lessons allowing me to move forward. Wisdom, in this case, that helps sleep and rest to envelope my mind. Today and tomorrow, I’d like to share some action steps that help me.

 Step One: Turn loneliness upside down. Own it. Everyone . . . everyone gets lonely. More people get lonely than catch COVID-19. We are hard-wired to experience rewarding relationships. But no matter how many family members and friendships we enjoy, sometimes we feel alone. It’s okay. It happens. Don’t allow yourself to feel like a loser because you are lonesome. Loneliness means you are normal.

 Interestingly, most of us complain because we are so busy, yet when we experience a time of solitude, we don’t know what to do with it. I say, own it. Turn the negative feelings upside down and allow some of your best reflections to shine. Many of your most significant revelations will flow from the empty room. Loneliness does not make you a loser; it makes you thoughtful. Thoughtful people are conquerors.

 Step Two: Know that God is with you. God’s most tremendous and most enduring promise shines most brightly at Christmas. “Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel.” (Isaiah 7:14) Immanuel means, “God with us.”  As I sit in the quiet of my living room, in my writing chair, I know that I am not alone. God is present here in the room. God is in my room at 3:00 am when the sounds of the night are frightening. God is online during my zoom calls. God watches Grand Tour and HGTV with me. I am never alone.  Know that you know, God is always with you. But the wonder does not end there.

 Step Three: God is in you. Jesus put it like this.  “. . . 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day, you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.” (John 14:17-20) God is inside your brain even when you feel alone. If you are a Christ-follower, the Spirit of God dwells in you.  He does not leave you when you feel lonely. He does not reject you for your nasty, vindictive, erotic, angry, impulsive thoughts. He does not say, “Hey, I’m outa’ here until you stop thinking that crap.”  God is not only with us and in us; He can turn loneliness into a beneficial season. God does not reject the plethora of useless thoughts that invade our minds when we are alone. “God with us” means just that.  He gets it. Jesus lived temptation, injustice, hard nights, and annoying days. He’s not looking to judge and jury you.  He is in you to help you through the malaise of being human. You have already found forgiveness through Him. Now enjoy abundant life in Him.

 I am not saying that this exercise “feels” good. Often, it does not. However, loneliness causes us to allow our feelings to over-ride the truth.  Base your existence on truth, not feelings. If you follow Christ, God is in you.  If you are not a follower of Jesus, please consider taking this step.  I’d be glad to start a conversation with you.

 More tomorrow . . .

 P.S. If any of my writings are helpful to you, please forward them to friends and family and ask them to sign up to receive my blog posts.