Viola, Success! Now What?

Last week I completed writing my first book. It took a year and a half, hundreds of hours of research and writing, and a good bit of frustration. Seventy-six thousand words and one hundred eighty-six pages later, I’ve created some leadership and life wisdom from one of my favorite books – Nehemiah. I believe Nehemiah is one of the best leadership books of all time, and I used the wall builder’s principles throughout my leadership journey.

In reality, I’ve been working on this book since I was a teenager and was asked to be the senior leader of our Boy Scout troop. The study and practice of leadership have always fascinated me, so I’ve read hundreds of books and thousands of articles. I’ve sat through countless hours of class covering every aspect of this art, and I have no idea how many hours actually leading.

This I week performed a final edit for now. I sat back in my chair, elated as you can imagine. This work seemed like a song that never ends, but I was determined to finish it. Now to find a publisher. (I’ll take any prayers you might offer for me concerning this endeavor).

My elation rather quickly turned into fear. What?! Yes, fear. Now, I must expose my child to the world which is frightening. What if people don’t like it? How many publishers will turn you down? (Twelve publishers turned down Harry Potter). What if nobody ever reads it or, if they do, don’t find it beneficial? My mind raced with self-doubt.

Once I worked through at least the first phase of self-doubt, something dawned on me.

Every successful venture delivers elation . . . followed by fear. It’s part of the process. For instance, I’m told that if a first book is successful, the second is usually harder to write. Now there are expectations and anticipation that the writer can duplicate or exceed the quality of their first book. The pressure’s on!

A pop singer cuts a hit song; the next one better be as good. You stepped up to a large project at work and hit a home run. Your boss was so pleased she quickly handed you more responsibility.

You always wanted a child before you were awakened at three in the morning by the sounds of a crying baby.

Success can be an exciting and rewarding experience, but it can also be intimidating and fearful. While success often brings financial stability, recognition, and a sense of accomplishment, it also brings new responsibilities, high expectations, and the fear of losing it all.

Success usually means you have taken risks and stepped out of your comfort zone. The result is that you now must make tough decisions and face new challenges and uncertainty. These experiences can be daunting, especially if you’ve never encountered them before. You’ve boldly gone where no man has gone before – now what?

Achievement often causes more personal pressure, and it creates higher expectations from others, and yourself, as you feel you must maintain or exceed that level of accomplishment. “But what if I am at my limit of capability.” We’ve all witnessed someone finally get promoted to their level of incompetence. “I think I’ve gone as far as my abilities will take me; it looks like this is it.”

You’ve finally made it to the top of your department; what an achievement. But now you sit alone in your office thinking, “I shouldn’t be here. I’m out of my league, and I don’t even know where to begin. These people think I’m something that I am not. I’m a fraud.” This phenomenon is called the “imposter syndrome,” and it’s common. And now you are in a position to be exposed for who you really are. Waves of self-doubt wash over you.

 Another problem with success is that it often comes with more responsibility. Furthermore, accomplishment delivers significant changes to your door that can be uncomfortable and unsettling. Now you must work longer hours, sacrifice your personal and family time, and even relocate. “What have I gotten myself into; this is harder than it looked.”

Here are some thoughts about dealing with success productively.

·      Spend some quiet time thinking about what you consider to be real success. You might discover getting that promotion, making an “A” in a class, getting a hefty raise, and the plethora of things we consider as successful are not our deeper meaning of success. This exercise helps you put your temporal success in perspective compared to your deeper definition.

·       Embrace the learning curve. Sometimes we work towards a goal for so long that we forget how much learning went into the achievement process. If you end up in a position where you don’t need to learn anything new, you’re likely to get bored or disappointed. You gained new knowledge and skills to get you where you are; you can keep learning more.

·      Give yourself some grace. Small failures always accompany high achievement; that is how we learn. Because you miss the mark at your new level does not mean you are incompetent.

·      Allow time to adjust. I’ve known people who happily got a new job that they enjoy but were so elated they forgot the drive to work is now a half hour longer and through heavy traffic. Success has a price, but you can and will adjust to the new schedule. One of the best pieces of advice I received from a mentor was to give new employees a year to learn their job. Don’t get impatient with their progress.

·      Look in the mirror and toast yourself; you made it! It’s critical to celebrate your wins.

Completing my book is only one step in a much larger process. I am excited about how much I will learn when a real professional examines my work and teaches me how to improve it. Perhaps a year from now, I’ll hold a finished, bound, published book in my hand with my name on it. Then I’ll need to learn what to do with it. Meanwhile, back to the other book I started before this one. It’s already half-completed. The process never ends; that’s what makes it an adventure. Never stop growing. Never stop learning.

Live Inspired!

Don Mark