Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can kill me.

 Like most of you, I've been reading and listening to the tragic news about the raid on our nations' Capitol building.  As a result, four people died, and the country is in an uproar. How sad. How could such a thing happen in such a blessed nation?

 Words are the most potent force on earth.

3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.     (James 3:3-12 NIV)

 Funny how something written two-thousand years ago sounds like a commentary on our nation's present use of the small part of our bodies called the tongue. All hell has indeed broken lose, incited by vituperous language erupting from every nook and cranny of the republic. We are reaping what we have sown and seem hell-bent on racing head-long down this path of destruction.

 Part of the greatness of George Washington was his use, or lack of use, of language. During the great debates among the leaders trying to forge a new nation, Washington was frequently quiet. He listened more than he spoke. When he expressed his opinions, they were often powerful but full of grace. My mother put it like this. "Donnie, you have two ears and one mouth. Use them accordingly." Perhaps we should take a lesson from the father of our country. Maybe he, too, read the words penned by Jesus' brother, James, many years ago. He chose to follow the advice.

 Here are some suggestions for taming your terrible tongue.

 Seek to hear more than to be heard. Really listen. I sometimes find myself not listening to someone because I am thinking of what I'm going to say next. This preoccupation is disrespectful and unfruitful. It keeps me from truly hearing the speaker's message.

For every negative comment, you make, provide at least five positive utterances. Studies have shown that it takes five positive comments to balance one negative. It might even be better not to make a negative comment in the first place. When you make a negative observation, sprinkle it with grace.

You don't always have to say what you are thinking. One of the primary marks of maturity is self-control. Control your tongue, and you can pretty much master anything. Abraham Lincoln said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt - It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid."

Consider how what you are about to say would feel to you. Do you want people to come away from encounters with you feeling uplifted? If you would sooner they feel bad about themselves because of your words, you likely have your own set of problems to address.

Refrain from verbal personal attacks on others. The beauty of compelling debate is participants' ability to pursue an opinion while not berating an opponent.

Admit it when you are wrong. Ask forgiveness when necessary, and offer forgiveness freely.

Unbridled anger will make a fool of you. Better to cool off and speak later than to vomit words that can never be retrieved.

Social media grants us tremendous power. Use it wisely. For some, this means unplugging.

 James makes some final comments in the third chapter of his letter. "17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness." (James 3:17-18 NIV)

 One final suggestion. Perhaps it would be good to copy James' words and place them on the bathroom mirror, the car's dash, and especially on our computer and smartphone screens.  We all need a good reminder, especially in these trying times.

 Might I also add, for those who are Christ-followers, the preceding advice is not optional. God calls us to a high standard of communication. Sticks and stones can break bones, but the misuse of words can kill.