Fear Factor, How to Face Down Your Fears

Have you ever driven your car onto a patch of ice? Suddenly, you find yourself out of control. It is a scary feeling.  We do not like being out of control, and, when we sense that we are losing it, fear is the natural result. Fear can be a good thing in that it keeps us from doing foolish things. But the other side of the coin is that fear can be debilitating. If you allow it, fear will prevent you from moving forward. Some people get stuck in a mire of doubt, spinning their wheels and going nowhere fast.

 Times like these elicit fear. We're afraid to go anywhere without a mask, or we might spread the coronavirus without knowing it. We're worried a family member will become infected. We're afraid we might lose our job, our car, our home. We're scared our kids are missing their education. We're worried our children are losing precious memories of social interactions. We're afraid this crisis is going to go on indefinitely. And, ultimately, we are worried that someone we love might die from this virus.

Fear comes in many forms, but it has the same results.  

Fear causes panic. Information Technologies are not my strong suit. A couple of months ago, I purchased a new computer.  As I was transferring the information from my old computer to my new one, I suddenly realized that I could not find my email files.  I have hundreds of email records to which I often refer.  My first reaction was the panic mode. "Oh geez, what am I going to do if I lost all of those files." What a sinking feeling.  Panic is not a fertile ground for decision-making. I waited a while and then called one of my I.T. friends who quickly told me how to solve the problem.  The quicker you work through panic mode, the better. Not much good happens when you are panicked.

Fear can paralyze you.  A famous story is told about a wealthy landowner who was leaving his ranch on an extended journey.  He met with three of his managers to discuss how he wanted his affairs managed in his absence.  He gave each manager a large amount of money to invest. One man received five bags of gold, another two, and another one. When he returned, he called each manager forward to account for his investments. The first two men doubled their money. The landowner was delighted.  But the manager given one bag of gold returned with nothing more than he was given. His excuse was fear.  Here is what he said. 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed.  So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.' The owner was not pleased.  He called him "wicked" and "lazy." The man with one bag of gold was paralyzed by fear, so he did nothing. Doing nothing leads to nothing.

Since moving forward in life always means venturing into the unknown, fear can cause us to retreat indefinitely. But you will never move forward if you stay paralyzed. The greatest comeback stories are those in which a person suffers a seemingly debilitating injury but chooses to go on anyway.

In 2003 surfer Bethany Hamilton was attacked by a shark that completely severed her left arm. Hamilton was only thirteen at the time. After nearly dying from a massive loss of blood, Bethany not only survived but thrived. Within a month, she was again navigating the waves on a surfboard. Hamilton went on to become a world champion surfer. But the story did not end there. Through a book, movie, public speaking, and hundreds of blogs, this brave woman has helped millions of people move forward with their lives. Don't let fear be the shark that forever holds you back.  

 Fear causes hopelessness. Sometimes our losses are so significant we lose hope. Without hope, life is not worth living.  Every accomplishment in life starts with hope.  I hope for a better future. Hope for a better me. I hope for a healthier lifestyle.  I hope for a new job. Hope for a new house. If you allow fear to take its course through panic, to being paralyzed into indefinite procrastination, you'll end up hopeless. Some say that hope is not a strategy, but I contend that every plan is born out of hope. No matter what your situation, there is always a reason for optimism.

 So, what's the antidote to fear?

 Don't let your feelings get the best of you. Some folks are afraid of flying.  They would never step foot on a plane. For this reason, their ability to travel is significantly limited.  The problem is that though there is a risk in air travel, that risk is far less than driving a car.  Most people would never dream of not driving a motor vehicle. The fear of flying is an irrational feeling.  That feeling holds you back.  The emotions that erupt from fear are so strong that they can cause us to act irrationally. Move forward in facts, not feelings.

Talk through your fear with trusted advisors. When fear is shared, it reduces exponentially. We are designed to assist each other through our fears. I recently read an article about Stephen King. The article explains how King had become paralyzed by rejection and feared that he would never get anything published. King's first novel was rejected thirty times. But that is where our encouragers come into play. If it was not for the persistence of King's wife, "Carrie" may have never existed. At one point, this frustrated, fearful author threw his first book in the trash. His wife, Tabitha, retrieved the manuscript and urged King to finish it. Now, King's books have sold over 350 million copies and have been made into numerous major motion pictures. All because he had a trusted confidant to push him beyond his fear.

Let your larger purpose drive you. Fear can cause us to be self-consumed.  A couple of years ago, my wife passed away after a two-year battle with pancreatic cancer. During her entire illness, Gail inspired thousands of people by her positive attitude. (Check out www.lovegail.com) How did she maintain such peace through this deadly illness?  Gail kept a deeply embedded purpose beyond herself. She did not allow her fear, pain, and the impending possibility of death control her.  Instead, this purpose-driven person considered how to help others and then acted on it.  During the last period of her earthly life, she raised several hundred thousand dollars to help poor female leaders in south Asia.  Embracing a deep purpose beyond yourself will allow you to face your fears.

Keep moving forward. Don't sit down and do nothing. You may be familiar with Truett Cathy, the founder of Chik-Fil-A restaurants. Truett was a very successful man. What many people do not know is that Chik-Fil-A was born out of several significant losses and set-backs. Truett returned from the Army in 1945 and started a restaurant with his brother. It was an immediate success. Three years after opening the restaurant, Truett's two brothers died in an airplane crash.  As a result, he had lost his brother and his business partner.  Truett recovered, and a couple of years later, he opened a second restaurant. One night, this location caught on fire and burned to the ground. He had very little insurance to rebuild. As Truett was trying to figure out what to do, he found out he had polyps in his colon, which required two surgeries and several months of recovery. Truett's recovery time could have been used to rebuild his restaurant.  But, while Cathy was lying in bed one day, he came up with an idea that was genius.  The fried chicken dinner was one of his best sellers. Laying on his recovery bed, he wondered if he could bread chicken breasts, fry them up, and put them on a bun with unique condiments. The result was the Chik-Fil-A sandwich, which is the first of its kind in the fast-food industry. Chik-Fil-A is one of the largest privately-owned restaurant chains in the world. It was born out of adversity.  Keep moving forward. Don't get so caught up in your fears that you lose sight of solutions. 

President Franklin Rosevelt said it well. "The only thing to fear is fear itself," or, as one person put it. "Feed your faith and your doubts and fears will starve to death." If fear is holding you back, make this the day you start slaying that dragon!