a good old fashioned perfect family christmas
I put my wife through it almost yearly, sometime during the holidays. At some point, I became so overwhelmed with responsibilities and an overzealous sense of helping others enjoy the season I morphed into a Grinch. I was short-tempered and grumpy for a few days, which diminished her holiday cheer. Hey, if I am miserable, everyone around me should be too. I wanted that “good old fashioned perfect family Christmas but what I got was tired – very tired. Clark Griswold and I had a lot in common, which is one of the reasons Christmas Vacation is one of my holiday favorites.
For many years I adorned our family room with a Christmas village called Hamiltown. Each year the number of village houses and businesses grew until there were so many we couldn’t fit them into the family room. Our Christmas tree and Christmas village consumed half of our room which made accommodating fifteen people on Christmas morning very cozy, not to mention chaotic. No worries, though; there were plenty of other places in the house to put more miniature wineries, grocery stores, churches, and the like.
It was also necessary to festoon outside the house with hundreds of lights, a lit-up bear or two, a wreath, garland around the door, and the light pole. By the time I finished decorating the house, inside and out, it resembled one of Hershey’s Candy Lane establishments. And yes, there was plenty of Hershey's candy in festive bowls designed to keep Christmas healthy and pretty.
A long while ago, someone invented giant blow-up creatures in every shape and size to fill the yard with ample Christmas cheesiness, but my wife abhorred these creatures. Every year she threatened to travel the area with a BB gun, shooting holes in Santa Claus, the reindeer, the Abominable Snowman, and anything else inflatable in nature.
Gail’s consternation gave me a “wonderful, awful idea.” I ventured to Wal-Mart and purchased a nine-foot inflatable snowman with a big black top hat and a smiley face. I sat him in front of the garage door where my wife parked her car so she couldn’t get into her parking spot after work that night. Then, just as she arrived from a hard day’s work, I hid and observed, with great delight, the look on her face. It was precious and worth every ounce of work and money it took to accomplish this dastardly prank. I never lived down that moment, and the snowman ended up on our back deck along with another shivering snowman pal. They still arrive there every year, and every year I smile grandly, knowing Gail is in heaven annoyed. Can you get annoyed in heaven? I hope so.
So, for many years I celebrated Christmas with a one-word motto – MORE! More Hamiltown, more lights, decorations, food, parties, church programs, and of course, more gifts. I am sure this attitude made baby Jesus very happy and impressed. Who needs frankincense, gold, and myrrh anyway?
Anyone who has worked on a church staff knows that the holiday season is the most demanding of the year. The church must be decorated, parties orchestrated, fund-raisers implemented, and the obligatory Christmas eve services conducted. For a few years, our church held a combined five services on our two campuses which took hours and hours of planning and practice. Then, there were those years, like this one, when Christmas Day fell on the weekend, even Sunday. You’d think Jesus would have had the grace to instruct His worshippers to stay home at least one of those days, especially Christmas morning. We worshipped three times one day, then returned to do it all over again two more times on the big day.
Meanwhile, the children were angry with baby Jesus for making them attend church instead of opening presents. Fortunately, we decided that celebrating only one of the two days was qualified to count as proper Christmas worship, so we discontinued Sunday Christmas Day services. What a blessing!
Then, one of the worst days of the year arrived in a short while – teardown Christmas day. With the entire family exhausted and the luster of the season-long past, somebody had to take it all apart, put it back in boxes, and store it somewhere for another year.
The family room was lined with pine needles where the tree was unceremoniously dragged outside, and this glorious symbol of the season would take a ride on the garbage truck to the Christmas tree graveyard. Meanwhile, the debris clogged the vacuum hose, which took forever to reopen and would likely back up before the process was completed. Whatever spiritual gains I made during the holiday season quickly faded as I fought vacuum wars each year.
Furniture had to be returned to its proper place, and it took hours to find where we stored all the pictures and wall hangings which were replaced during the season with inspiring Christmas sayings like Jesus is the reason for the season. I usually found a lost item or two sometime during the coming year while doing household chores.
I hope by now you realize I am being my facetious self, but I did come to wonder how the Lord would react to inflatable snow people, hundreds of Hallmark movies, and a day we’ve donned “Black Friday” to kick it all off. Go figure.
I’ve always liked the simplicity of a Charlie Brown Christmas, and I’ve also come to enjoy simple Christmas celebrations and church services. This week I made what has become an annual trek to the Princeton University campus chapel to enjoy a program called “Lessons and Carols.” The enormous chapel was built in the 1930s using beautiful gothic architecture. Attending this beautiful service has been a tradition for my son-in-law for most of his life, so we have dinner with his uncle, who is a good friend and priest, and then walk across the famous campus to hear choirs resound in the stone walls of the church.
The service is simple. “Lessons” are nothing more than reading various Scriptures related to the coming of Jesus followed by anthems and congregational singing of Christmas carols. The massive pipe organ shakes the building and alone is worth the two-and-a-half-hour journey down the Pennsylvania Turnpike.
Now, back to Christmas Hamilton style.
These days, I still decorate the entire house, though a little less day. Over the years, I’ve learned a few helpful lessons about celebrating Christmas.
One year as the season approached, I dreaded the construction of Hamiltown, which took hours. In a brave moment of Christmas courage, I made a bold move. I decided Hamiltown would not receive permitting that year and, therefore, would not be constructed. It was a scary moment as I wondered if Christmas could happen without this tradition. The scale-down continued as I also left my six stuffed Snoopys and five stuffed Mooses (is that a word?) in the boxes. We limited the number of parties hosted and attended and sat quietly in the family room several evenings, enjoying the fruit of our labor to the sounds of Dean Martin, Andy Williams, and Burl Ives.
With that, the miracle on Shetland Court transpired. Christmas, even merry Christmas, happened anyway. It happened without Hamiltown, without Snoopy, without Merry Moose. It still arrived with fewer parties and entire evenings without somewhere to go. And there was peace on earth and goodwill towards the Hamiltons. As the old green creature pondered, “Maybe, just maybe, Christmas means a little bit more.”
I still love the holiday season, from Thanksgiving through the New Year celebration, and I continue to decorate, cook, wrap copious numbers of presents, and host friends and family. Spatterings of Hamiltown dot the house, and sometimes Snoopy and his moose pals still make an appearance. If God sent a heavenly host of angelic beings to proclaim the arrival of His Son, this season should not pass without ample celebration. How each of us conducts our proclamation is our prerogative.
However, if your celebration exhausts or depresses you, I suggest a few changes.
Pick one or two, or three ingredients of your seasonal activities to stop. You can likely relinquish some drains to your Christmas spirit and enjoy the season even more.
Plan well and say “No.” You don’t have to do, purchase, decorate, bake, or host everything. Merry Christmas will arrive anyway.
Replace holiday chaos with moments of quiet and reflection. Read the Christmas Bible passages alone and leisurely, giving yourself time to reflect on the Holy Night and what it means to you this year.
Do the things that fill your bucket and let the rest fall by the wayside. You cannot continue to pour into others if your bucket is empty.
Complexity creates exhaustion; simplify your season. The profound beauty of Christmas is found in its simplicity.
May you discover the unique holiday balance that fills you with true Christmas joy.
Live Inspired!
Don Mark
In need of a unique Christmas gift? Check out https://donmarkhamiltoncm.creator-spring.com for Live Inspired creations. You’ll find many fun options and know that 10% of every item purchased goes to Gail’s Girls, and ministry to under-resourced women in southern Asia.
